Confession
by phoenixsp
Summary: Hermione Granger has a revelation...and I just realized that I stink at summaries.
1. The Story of A Girl

The Story of a Girl  
  
(A/N: Spanks to the wonderful songwriters who came up with that song! Yes, it's suck-up time in Phoenix Land!)  
  
September 1st - I was on the train today. Neither Harry nor Ron was on board yet, so I found an empty compartment in which to wait for them. The train was going to leave in three minutes, so I had begun to get anxious. After all, the same thing had happened in our second year, and Harry had gotten hurt.so did Ron. I had better stop thinking of Harry before I get myself into trouble. After all, I wouldn't want to develop a crush on one of my best friends, especially Harry. I would never be able to keep it from him. I mean, I never can keep secrets from Harry. He seems to always understand me, to know what I'm thinking unlike anyone else.  
  
September 5th - All Ron and I do is argue. We don't get along as well as Harry and I do.we never have. He is always trying to change me, but Harry just accepts who I am, and even better, he loves me for my quirks. Okay, so maybe he doesn't "love" me the way I just "might" want him to.no, I can't think like that. Maybe I'll stop thinking this way if I get a good night sleep.  
  
September 13th - I might as well admit it. I love Harry. Harry - my best friend, the one guy who stands beside me even when everyone else ignores me or taunts me.He's my Harry.okay, maybe he's not MY Harry. It's just wishful thinking.  
  
September 21st- Today I was pulled from my thoughts in the library as the two boys I have been thinking about showed up.Ron with his flaming red hair and freckles, and Harry with his perfect green eyes that I can never take my own eyes off of. As they sat themselves down in seats across from me, they both said 'Hey, Hermione' at the same time; I find that to be so cute. Then, I lost track of time looking into his eyes.again. Harry began to become obviously worried, and I snapped out of my daze. He said to me, "Hermione? Are you feeling alright? You look sort of.dazed and confused." I came up with some lame excuse for my appearance that isn't even worth putting down on paper. What worried me the most was he read my emotions again like he always does; what if next time I make it obvious that I'm daydreaming about him?  
  
October 2nd- He is always so concerned for his friends, worried that he's going to endanger us. He never stops to think about what he needs, what he is feeling. All of his thoughts seem to revolve around the safety of the people in his life. Harry is so selfless and loving. He just needs to sit down and care for himself for a moment. However, I know that will never happen, and this is why he needs someone to do that for him. Harry always seems to think that he is invincible, but he's not. I only have to look back at any of our years together at Hogwarts, and I'm reminded of this. He has come so close to dying throughout the years, but to Professor Trelawney's disappointment (the hoax of an old batty seer that she is), he always survives. I'm just scared that a day will come when his luck will run out.  
  
October 14- I don't think I would be able to handle losing Harry. Especially not before I tell him how I feel about him. But I will never be able to do that. There is too much a chance that he doesn't feel the same way, and then our friendship would be destroyed. I know I will someday regret not telling him that I love him, but I will have to burn that bridge when I come to it. I'm too much of a coward. I would never be able to go up to Harry and tell him my feelings because I am too afraid that he won't understand, that he won't be able to return my feelings. If only he would give me some sign that he feels the same way about me that I do about him. But I must face the fact that that sign will never come. And my confession of my feelings will never be revealed to him. 


	2. Hogwarts Confessional

Hogwarts Confessional  
(A/N: Yeah, I got the idea for the title from "Dashboard Confessional")  
September 30th -  
I think I'm going insane. Ever since the 21st, I've been going crazy,  
arguing with myself in my head, all over what happened, over what I saw.  
Or, rather, didn't happen and didn't see. It all started when Ron and I  
were looking for Hermione after Divination. We decided to look for her in  
the most likely place she would be: the library. So, Ron and I rushed  
through the doors and found her at a table, buried in a book, as always.  
Not that I think it's bad, I actually think it's a cute quirk of hers. We  
sat down across from her, and we both said "Hi Hermione" at the same time.  
She laughed. I love her laugh. I love her.  
October 1st -  
I should really finish that story of what happened, so here goes. I  
noticed that she was looking in my eyes with a dazed expression. I first  
thought that she was thinking about me, but she couldn't have been. She  
must have been sick or something. So then I said "Are you feeling alright?  
You look sort of dazed and confused." She said "Oh, I'm just thinking  
about this book I'm reading, it's really interesting." I knew she was  
lying because in her hands was "Hogwarts, A History." She even admitted to  
me once that she had lost interest in it because she has read it for what  
must be 50 times. So maybe she was thinking about me. I wish.  
October 10th -  
I love her so much. But she'll never love me back. And even if I told her  
how I feel - which won't ever happen, but I'm speaking hypothetically - she  
would insist on a platonic relationship. But it wouldn't work out when she  
knows that I love her more than we both can stand. And plus, even if we  
were able to keep that friendship alive, Voldemort would go after her,  
knowing that she is my one and only weakness.other than my parents and Ron,  
but still. I would never be able to handle losing her. I would rather die  
myself. But if either of us were to die at the hands of Voldemort, I think  
I would always regret not telling her how I feel. That kind of regret can  
eat a person away on the inside. But even knowing this, I still can't tell  
her how I feel. I wish she would just tell me that she wants me to be more  
than her friend (bloody hell, just her saying that she wants me would be  
enough). But she won't ever tell me that. And she will never know how I  
truly feel. 


End file.
